Guest Author: Rudy budda babby

Click here to listen to a real live human being talk about living a great cell phone life

I attended an dzogchenlineage.org retreat this weekend and I am glad to say thank divine mother, cell phone towers, people in Washington, all the elemental divas to let me attend this 2 day workshop on how our negative thinking can cause negative conseqences or karma, if you are a westerner do not be turned off my these terms. I realize that if you have 15 minutes of negative self talk or negative talk on your cell phone, the ripoche wants you to do 30 min of purification exercises.

They are

• Put your Mobile companion outside when the sun is out and ask the SUN and dzochen students to send your helio phone hot white light,
  
• Send everyone you are angry at or who you have had a disagreement on your Mobile companion love, compassion, hugs, positive messages to counter your negative thoughts towards them. Do them a favor and tell them to sign up for a Poa retreat at the URL or link above to learn how to prepare their ego to die
  
• Say mantras such as I love my community, I love god (who everyou pray to), say SO HUM repeated over and over again
  
• Take a hatha yoga class and learn how to do sun salutations. Ask the hatha yoga teacher to remember to turn off her cell phone so you can focus on what she is teaching you. Once you have done 4 million sun salutations, you will start to let go of your pride, ego and self importance. Perhaps you will reach cell phone enlightenment
  
• Stop eating meat, and use your Helio phone GPS tracking to find closest organic farms and go to a farm market to buy your produce. By the time the vegetable reaches your dinner table it has been radiated by radiation and has sat in the truck 2 weeks. There is a weekly family farmers market in Washington the town I am staying in. Stop using safeway and use your GPS and beacon buddy and tell your local farmers to sign up for a free T-mobile wing cell phone on this website: review of the T-Mobile Wing PDA phone and spread the word so your friends can locate real live stock and organic produce from your local area.
  
• I will be learning how to help you set up buddy list on your cell phone soon, so stay tuned